There was a church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons though because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a week. Reluctantly, she agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning,
after the choir's opening hymn,
the minister slowly walked to the pulpit,
hesitated, then quietly announced -
"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol
we will not hath a thermonn tewday."
