> > > > >
> > > > >1. You look like you are 18.
> > > > >2. You like to eat chicken feet.
> > > > >3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
> > > > >4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging
on your rear view mirror.
> > > > >5. You sing Karaoke.
> > > > >6. Your house is covered with tile.
> > > > >7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky
film of grease.
> > > > >8. Your stove is covered with aluminum
foil.
> > > > >9. You leave the plastic covers on your
remote control.
> > > > >10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
> > > > >11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
> > > > >12. Your unassisted vision is worse than
20/500.
> > > > >13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing
your "coke bottle glasses".
> > > > >14. You've worn glasses since you were in
fifth grade.
> > > > >15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
> > > > >16. You'll haggle over something that is
not negotiable.
> > > > >17. You love to use coupons.
> > > > >18. You drive around looking for the
cheapest gas.
> > > > >19. You drive around for hours looking for
the best parking space.
> > > > >20. You take showers at night.
> > > > >21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel
rooms.
> > > > >22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people
into one motel room.
> > > > >23. Most girls have more body hair than
you, if you are male.
> > > > >24. You tap the table when someone pours
tea for you.
> > > > >25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!"
frequently.
> > > > >26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt
because it is uncomfortable.
> > > > >27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and
blackjack.
> > > > >28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very
carefully, so you can reuse the
> > > paper.
> > > > >29. You only buy Christmas cards after
Christmas, when they are 50%
> > > off.
> > > > >30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your
kitchen table.
> > > > >31. You spit bones and other food scraps
on the table. (That's why
>you need the vinyl tablecloth).
> > > > >32. You have stuff in the freezer since
the beginning of time.
> > > > >33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
> > > > >34. You have never used your dishwasher.
> > > > >35. You keep a Thermos of hot water
available at all times.
> > > > >36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
> > > > >37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and
tin containers.
> > > > >38. You have a piano in your living room
> > > > >39. You pick your teeth at the dinner
table (but you cover your
>mouth).
> > > > >40. You twirl your pen around your
fingers.
> > > > >41. You hate to waste food.
> > > > >42. You have Tupperware in your fridge
with three bites of rice or
>one
> > > > leftover chicken wing.
> > > > >43. You don't own any real Tupperware -
only a cupboard full of used
> > > but
> > > > carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout
containers, and jam jars.
> > > > >44. You also use the jam jars as drinking
glasses.
> > > > >45. You have a collection of miniature
shampoo bottles that you take
> > > every
> > > > time you stay in a hotel.
> > > > >46. You carry a stash of your own food
whenever you travel (travel
> > > means
> > > > any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These
snacks are always dried
> > > > >and include dried plums, mango, ginger,
and squid. 47. You wash your
> > > rice
> > > > at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
> > > > >48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything
himself.
> > > > >49. The dash board of your Honda is
covered by hundreds of small
>toys.
> > > > >50. You don't use measuring cups.
> > > > >51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
> > > > >52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
> > > > >53. You always look phone numbers up in
the phone book, since calling
> > > > information costs 50 cents.
> > > > >54. You only make long distance calls
after 11pm.
> > > > >55. If you are male, you clap at something
funny and if you are
>female,
> > > you
> > > > giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
> > > > >56. You like Chinese films in their
original undubbed versions.
> > > > >57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
> > > > >58. You've learnt some form of martial
arts.
> > > > >59. Shaolin actually mean something to
you.
> > > > >60. You like congee with thousand year old
eggs.
> > > > >61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads
and legs still attached.
> > > > >62. You never call your parents just to
say hi.
> > > > >63. If you don't live at home, when your
parents call, they ask if
> > > you've
> > > > eaten, even if it's midnight.
> > > > >64. When you're sick, your parents tell
you not to eat fried foods or
> > > baked
> > > > goods due to yeet hay.
> > > > >65. You know what yeet hay is.
> > > > >66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at
work, even though you're only
>10
> > > > feet apart.
> > > > >67. You use a face cloth.
> > > > >68. You starve yourself before going to
all you can eat places.
> > > > >69. You know someone who can get you a
good deal on jewellery or
> > > > electronics.
> > > > >70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses
even though you're never
> > > going
> > > to
> > > > use them again.
> > > > >71. You own your own meat cleaver and
sharpen it.
> > > > >72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed
paper-thin.
> > > > >73. You know what moon cakes are.
> > > > >74. When there is a sale on toilet paper,
you buy 100 rolls and store
> > > them
> > > > in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult
child who has moved out.
> > > > >75. Your parents know how to launch nasal
projectiles.
> > > > >76. You iron your own shirts.
> > > > >77. You play a musical instrument.
> > > > >78. Even if you're totally full, if
someone says they're going to
>throw
> > > > away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish
them.
> > > > >79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
> > > > >80. You bring oranges (or other produce)
with you as a gift when you
> > > visit
> > > > people's homes.
> > > > >81. You fight over who pays the dinner
bill.
> > > > >82. You majored in something practical
like engineering, medicine or
> > > law.
> > > > >83. You live with your parents and you are
30 years old (and they
> > > prefer
> > > it
> > > > that way). Or if you're married and 30 years
old, you live in the
> > > apartment
> > > > next door to your parents, or at least in the
same neighbourhood.
> > > > >84. You don't tip more than 0% at a
restaurant, and if you do, you
>tip
> > > > Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
> > > > >85. You have acquired a taste for bitter
melon.
> > > > >86. You eat every last grain of rice in
your bowl, but don't eat the
> > > last
> > > > >piece of food on the table.
> > > > >87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
> > > > >88. You see the truth in this and then
send it to all your Chinese
> > > friends.
